YOU’VE BEEN WALKING A TIGHTROPE, IT’S TIME TO FIND SOLID GROUND.
Relief from Anxiety, Perfectionism, and People Pleasing is within reach, freeing you to build the life you want and the relationships you long for.
JANET NELSON, LMHC, SOUTH SOUND THERAPY AND COUNSELING: IN PERSON AND ON LINE THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES IN WASHINGTON STATE
South Sound Therapy and Counseling
Anxiety, perfectionism, and people pleasing can also mean:
Waking up with a stream of anxious thoughts racing through your head, making it tough to focus on what to do next.
The tension in your shoulders or knots in your stomach are your constant unwanted companions. Your body is telling you that you’re carrying too much, but you don’t know what to put down without risking chaos and disappointment.
Feeling overwhelmed by pressure to produce and accomplish…it never seems like enough.
Reflexively saying, “of course I can tackle that for you,” before considering your own, already full, calendar.
Being plagued with constant fear that you’re disappointing the people in your life, whether they’re friends, family, a partner, or colleagues.
Playing a continuous loop in your mind of your last interaction, then analyzing every part of it until you’re convinced you were a calamitous mess. “Ahhhh! Why did I say that?!”
Feeling lonely and disconnected in your relationships. You long to feel at ease, understood, and close to the people in your life.
If you’re with a partner, perhaps feeling distant, misunderstood, or stuck in a constant state of tension. It seems almost impossible to just relax and experience a sense of confidence that everything is okay in your relationship.
If you can just get your act together everything will be okay.
The trouble is, your unrelenting attempts to get your act together often mean turning your back on yourself.
Maybe you’re…
Living with a sense of fear and anxiety that tells you everything will fall apart if you slow down even for a minute.
Perfectionism can be a monster! You find yourself walking a tight rope, balancing work, family, friendships, and all of life’s other obligations. Sometimes it all feels quite fragile, making it so hard to relax and take time to care for yourself. Somewhere along the way you learned that it’s all pretty much on you and this feels exhausting. If you’re honest you might admit that you’re a little pissed off, but how do you talk about it? Instead, you might just float in a quiet pool of resentment, wishing desperately that someone would notice and come to your rescue.
Feeling exhausted, stressed, and lonely from managing everyone else’s expectations, experiences, and emotions.
You avoid conflict because the possibility of upheaval feels terrifying.
Your radar is finely tuned to everyone around you and their wants and needs. If you can just keep everyone happy, you will feel safe, secure, and loved. Your ability to tune in and be a helper is a beautiful thing. This quality draws people to you, helping them feel secure and cared for. The trouble is it can be very lonely…you also long to be seen and heard. You yearn for relationships that are deeply connected, mutual, and reciprocal. You just don’t know how to get there.
Talking to yourself harshly, in a way you would never talk to anyone else.
You would never be so mean to anyone else. The critical voice inside your head drowns out any positive feedback you receive. Why is it so loud? At some point in life you learned that the best way to perform up to expectations is to drive yourself with a severe, judgmental inner dialogue. This harsh critical voice only reinforces your belief that you’re not performing well enough. You need to level up and work harder. You’re either not enough or too much. It’s all very overwhelming and confusing!
I’M JANET
It’s time to reconnect with yourself and discover what you really want and need in life.
Let’s talk about your hopes. How do you want to show up as the main character in your own life? Imagine…
Finding more ease in your day to day life.
Feeling refreshed and energized…discovering the things that give you the spark that makes life fun and interesting.
Experiencing a strong sense of self, knowing what you need and desire.
Having agency and self determination. You listen to others and consider their thoughts opinions, but ultimately make your own confident decisions.
Being able to set appropriate boundaries, knowing these boundaries will strengthen your relationships.
Having the capacity to bear the emotions of the people in your life, knowing that even their disappointment won’t destroy you. You wont love it, but you’ll survive.
Getting to know yourself and finding out you really like the person you are. Treating yourself with respect and kindness comes naturally.
Experiencing deeply connected, warm, loving relationships. You’re free to generously care for to the people in your life and the concerns you hold because you’re no longer depleted.
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Anxiety and Perfectionism
The steady stream of anxious thoughts and feelings of self doubt are paralyzing. The cycle sets in and the more anxious you are the less you can get done and the worse you feel. You’re so ready to step out of this exhausting pattern and reclaim your life.
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People Pleasing - Anxious Attachment
You care so much! But this intense caring is a gift that can come with painful side effects. It’s hard to thrive when your wellbeing feels so dependent on keeping the people in your life happy. You’re ready to live in a way that lets you generously connect with others, without sacrificing yourself.
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Couples
You’re finding yourselves stuck in painful patterns, dealing with the same issues over and over. Maybe things feel like a constant escalated battle or you’re feeling lonely and detached. You’re ready to repair your relationship and discover the connection, intimacy, and spark that you long for.
The Process to get Started in Therapy:
2
First session
During our 50 minute intake session, I’ll discuss more about my approach to therapy so that you don’t feel left in the dark, wondering what’s next.
We’ll use the majority of the session talking about what you’re currently experiencing.
By the end of the first session, we’ll have a clearer understanding of your goals for therapy and how we can work together to meet them.
1
Reach out
This initial step is the same for couples and individuals.
Schedule a free 15 minute video or phone consultation. This is an opportunity to get to know me and my style a bit to determine if you feel we’re a good fit.
If you decide to move forward I’ll send you intake forms online and we can schedule a first session.
3
See change
Growing self awareness, processing past harm, and experiencing true empathy all lead to lasting change.
Beyond these changes, you’ll also walk away with practical skills and strategies you can put in place immediately to move you forward.
Go to my ABOUT page to learn more about the process of therapy.
Couples
If you are struggling as a couple, you are most likely feeling frustrated, confused, lonely, and stuck. Our work together will move you toward understanding each other, strengthening your connection, and creating new healthy patterns.
I love working with couples and have years of experience helping couples transform their relationship into a source of strength, connection, and fulfillment.
Find out more about how I work with couples here.
Let's start working toward the life you want & the relationships you long for.
I offer a free consultation for prospective clients interested in individual therapy or couples counseling.
Please use the contact form to send your information, and I will contact you to schedule a consultation.
Ready to take the first step toward creating the life & relationships you truly want? Schedule a free 20-minute consultation with me—I’ll answer your questions and we can discover if we’re a good fit.
In person therapy at my downtown Tacoma office:
711 St. Helens, 103B Tacoma, WA
Online therapy in Washington State