THERAPY FOR ADULT ADHD

JANET NELSON, LMHC, SOUTH SOUND THERAPY AND COUNSELING: IN PERSON AND ON LINE THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES IN WASHINGTON STATE

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What ADHD Really Feels Like

ADHD isn’t just about being “distracted” or “hyper.” For many adults, it feels like a constant inner storm, racing thoughts, emotional ups and downs, and a never-ending struggle to stay on top of life. You may look like you’re holding it together on the outside, but inside, it can feel exhausting.

Common Symptoms of Adult ADHD:

  • Difficulty focusing or following through on tasks

  • Forgetting appointments, names, or conversations

  • Easily distracted even in important or meaningful moments

  • Feeling mentally scattered or chronically disorganized

  • Procrastination and difficulty with motivation

  • Restlessness or trouble sitting still (physically or mentally)

  • Struggles with time management or “time blindness”

The Emotional Toll:

ADHD often brings more than just disorganization, it affects how you feel about yourself. You may wrestle with:

  • Chronic frustration or feeling like you're always behind

  • Intense emotions that come on quickly and feel hard to control

  • Shame from missed deadlines, impulsive decisions, or social slip-ups

  • Anxiety from trying to keep it all together or masking your symptoms

  • Low self-esteem or feeling “not enough,” even when you're trying your hardest

These emotional struggles aren’t character flaws. They’re part of how ADHD shows up in real life. It often overlaps with other challenges like anxiety, perfectionism, and people pleasing, which therapy can help untangle.

The Relational Impact:

Living with ADHD can make relationships more complicated. Maybe you’ve been told you don’t listen, or that you're forgetful, reactive, or unreliable. You might feel:

  • Misunderstood or dismissed

  • Afraid of being a burden

  • Frustrated by conflict you didn’t mean to cause

  • Worried that you're too much or not enough for the people you love

Over time, this can create distance, disconnection, and a painful sense of isolation. If ADHD is impacting your partnership, couples therapy can also be a powerful support.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

ADHD therapy is about more than just productivity hacks. It’s about helping you feel seen, understood, and supported. In our work together, we’ll explore how ADHD impacts your emotions, relationships, and sense of self and we’ll build tools and insight to help you move through life with more clarity and ease.

The Hidden Emotional Costs of ADHD

ADHD is more than distraction. It’s an emotional experience and often, a lonely one.

While the DSM focuses on symptoms like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, many adults with ADHD carry an invisible emotional load that often goes unrecognized and untreated. If you’re living with ADHD, you may relate to some of these lesser-known struggles:

Shame and the Accumulation of “Failures”

  • Internalizing years of messages like “not living up to potential”

  • Feeling fundamentally different, behind, or broken

  • Overcompensating with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or overachievement

Sensory and Emotional Overwhelm

  • Becoming flooded by noisy environments or social situations

  • Melting down emotionally from cumulative small stressors

  • Needing more recovery time than others but feeling guilty for it

Difficulty Trusting Yourself

  • Second-guessing decisions, even small ones

  • Feeling stuck in indecision or fear of making the “wrong” choice

  • Seeking external validation to confirm what you feel internally

All-or-Nothing Patterns

  • Swinging between overcommitting and shutting down completely

  • Either hyperfocusing on a task or feeling totally paralyzed

  • Having a hard time finding balance or sustainable pacing

Chronic Self-Doubt in Relationships

  • Wondering if you're “too much” or “not enough”

  • Feeling like a burden even when you're giving your all

  • People-pleasing as a way to avoid abandonment or criticism

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

  • Feeling intensely hurt or panicked by real or perceived rejection

  • Avoiding feedback or relationships out of fear of disapproval

  • Overanalyzing interactions and assuming you’ve upset someone

Masking and Chronic Performance Anxiety

  • Constantly performing, over-functioning, or “proving” your value

  • Hiding your struggles with organization, memory, or emotional regulation

  • Exhaustion from holding it all together while quietly burning out

Emotional Dysregulation

  • Feeling emotions “too big” and “too fast” with little control

  • Struggling to calm down once overwhelmed or upset

  • Feeling ashamed of your reactions and trying to suppress them

Executive Dysfunction Guilt

  • Knowing what needs to be done but not being able to start

  • Feeling lazy or irresponsible despite best intentions

  • Constant inner self-criticism for not meeting expectations

 

Therapy for ADHD can help you:

Understand and regulate your emotions

ADHD isn’t just about focus and forgetfulness—it often comes with big emotions that feel impossible to manage. If you struggle with emotional dysregulation, therapy for ADHD can help you slow down, identify what you’re feeling, and respond with more clarity instead of being swept away.

Heal the shame of feeling “too much” or “not enough”

Many adults with ADHD carry a deep history of feeling misunderstood, inadequate, or like they’re constantly falling short. Maybe you’ve been told you’re lazy, scattered, or difficult. ADHD therapy offers space to unpack those old stories and start relating to yourself with more kindness and self-respect.

Reduce emotional reactivity and impulsivity

You may find yourself snapping in frustration, zoning out in conversations, or reacting before you’ve had a chance to think. These patterns aren’t character flaws—they’re part of how ADHD impacts your nervous system. Together, we’ll work on tools to help you respond rather than react

Build confidence and self-trust

When ADHD makes it hard to stay organized, follow through, or focus, your self-esteem can take a hit. In our work together, you’ll build a deeper understanding of your brain, reconnect with your strengths, and develop practical ways to move through life with more confidence and ease.

Strengthen your relationships and communication

Adult ADHD often shows up in relationships—missed details, forgotten plans, emotional outbursts, or feeling misunderstood. As your ADHD therapist in Tacoma, I’ll help you understand these dynamics and support you in creating more connected, stable, and meaningful relationships.

Reconnect with your values and needs

When you're constantly putting out fires or chasing urgency, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. ADHD therapy gives you space to slow down, tune into your true wants and needs, and live in alignment with your values—not just your to-do list..