JANET NELSON, LMHC, SOUTH SOUND THERAPY AND COUNSELING: IN PERSON AND ON LINE THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES IN WASHINGTON STATE
THERAPY for COUPLES
When is it time to seek couples therapy?
You want to strengthen and deepen your already solid relationship.
You’re taking steps toward another level of commitment and want to set yourselves up for success.
You’re spinning your wheels in frequent and intense arguments.
You’re struggling to communicate effectively.
There are issues of trust and a lack of security in your relationship.
There’s a Loss of Intimacy.
A major life transition is putting stress on your relationship.
Growing distance in your relationship. One or both of you are emotionally withdrawing.
There are past hurts between you that you’ve been unable to repair and resolve.
Whether you are expecting a newborn or have older children, you want to make sure you are prioritizing your relationship as a couple.
When one of you has been diagnosed with ADHD or you suspect that one of you may have undiagnosed ADHD. I specialize in working with the unique challenges of ADHD in relationships
Therapy for couples can help you…
Improve communication
When you’re left to guess what each other are thinking or feeling it creates misunderstandings and conflict. The blanks are filled in with your own narrative, which may or may not be accurate. When you’re free to communicate your experiences and listen to each other you’ll be able to work through issues as partners, rather than adversaries.
Reduce emotional distress
No matter how content you feel in other areas of life, if your relationship is suffering it’s tough to feel at ease. Creating security and connection in your relationship provides a home base which feels comfortable, satisfying, and energizing. When you no longer feel lonely in your relationship, you are more able to thrive in other areas of your life.
Strengthen your connection and emotional bonds
You both want to feel seen and heard in your relationship. You want to know that you matter and are being thought of with love and care. We will work together to build the intimacy and deep attachment you both long for.
Build trust and safety
Feeling secure in your relationship provides you the solid foundation you need to deepen your love and connection. With commitment and determination you can experience safety, security, and ease in your relationship.
Shift unhealthy patterns to more healthy ways of relating
We’ll work together to clarify the dynamic and cycles in your relationship. I’ll help you understand how your interactions unfold and the ways you become stuck. When the patterns are brought to light, we’ll explore ways to shift from negative patterns to positive, healthy ways of relating to each other.
Feel empowered as a couple
One of the primary goals of couples therapy is to build a true partnership. A partnership in which you both feel valued, supported, and held close. As an indivisible team you can face the inevitable struggles that will come your way. Even in conflict, the attachment you’ve built will help you work through it and the skills you’ve learned will provide the road map.
Couples and ADHD: Understanding the Impact and the Role of Therapy
How ADHD Affects Couples
Misunderstood behaviors: ADHD symptoms like forgetfulness, distractibility, or impulsivity may be interpreted by a partner as laziness, carelessness, or lack of love.
Uneven responsibility load: The non-ADHD partner often takes on more household, parenting, or organizational tasks, leading to resentment and burnout.
Communication breakdowns: Partners may struggle with missed cues, emotional reactivity, or difficulty sustaining attention during conversations.
Emotional dysregulation: Individuals with ADHD may experience intense emotional reactions, which can escalate conflict and create instability in the relationship.
Role confusion: The non-ADHD partner may feel more like a parent or manager than an equal partner, which can erode intimacy and respect.
Chronic frustration: Both partners may feel stuck in cycles of misunderstanding, unmet expectations, and repeated conflict.
How Couples Therapy Can Help
Clarifies the role of ADHD: Therapy helps both partners understand how ADHD affects behavior and the relationship, reducing blame and increasing empathy.
Improves communication: Couples learn how to slow down interactions, clarify needs, and use tools to stay present during important conversations.
Balances responsibilities: Therapy supports partners in renegotiating tasks in a way that feels fair, while also considering executive functioning challenges.
Strengthens emotional connection: By fostering understanding and validation, therapy rebuilds trust and helps both partners feel seen and supported.
Teaches practical tools: Couples learn strategies tailored to ADHD, such as external reminders, structured routines, and scheduled check-ins to stay aligned.
Supports identity and growth: Therapy creates space to explore how ADHD has shaped each partner's self-concept and patterns, allowing for individual and relational healing.
If you suspect that ADHD may be playing a role in making your relationship more challenging, please reach out.
Ready to get started?
Your relationship is worth it.
Couples Therapy Using the Gottman Method
Create Safety, Rebuild Trust, and Strengthen Connection
Relationships can be a powerful source of joy, but when communication breaks down or emotional distance sets in, even the most loving couples can start to feel disconnected. If you’re feeling more like roommates than partners, or struggling to repair from past hurts, couples therapy can help.
What Is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is a structured, evidence-based approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Based on over four decades of relationship research, this method helps couples build stronger foundations by addressing the emotional and behavioral patterns that keep them stuck.
Rather than focusing solely on problem-solving, the Gottman Method strengthens the emotional bond between partners and teaches essential tools for managing stress, building trust, and restoring closeness.
In therapy, couples learn how to:
Deepen emotional intimacy
Repair emotional ruptures
Navigate conflict without harming the relationship
Rebuild trust after betrayal or disconnection
Strengthen friendship and shared life purpose
The Sound Relationship House: A Framework for Lasting Love
At the heart of the Gottman Method is the Sound Relationship House, a model that outlines the building blocks of emotionally secure relationships.
Love Maps
Know your partner’s inner world, what matters to them, what they fear, what brings them joy. The stronger your Love Maps, the deeper your emotional connection.
Fondness and Admiration
Build a culture of respect and appreciation. Seeing the good in one another, even in hard times, nurtures security and positive regard.
Turning Toward Instead of Away
Learn how to respond to your partner’s bids for connection. These small moments of presence and responsiveness build trust over time.
Positive Sentiment Override
The lens through which you view your partner determines how you interpret their actions. Holding a positive view of your partner helps couples navigate stress with more grace and less blame.
Conflict Management
All couples have conflict. The Gottman Method helps you manage conflict with care and empathy, rather than letting it become destructive.
Shared Meaning and Life Dreams
Explore what gives your relationship meaning, your rituals, values, goals, and the life you want to build together.
Recognizing and Replacing Harmful Patterns
The Gottmans identified four major behaviors that often predict relationship distress. In therapy, we work to identify and shift these behaviors toward healthier alternatives:
Criticism → Gentle Start-Up
Defensiveness → Taking Responsibility
Contempt → Building Appreciation
Stonewalling → Self-Soothing and Re-Engagement
These changes not only reduce conflict but also increase emotional safety and mutual understanding.
What We’ll Work On Together:
Repairing Emotional Disconnect
Explore the emotional injuries that have led to distance or mistrust and begin the work of healing and reconnection.
Navigating Conflict With Respect
Learn to communicate in ways that preserve dignity, regulate emotional intensity, and foster collaboration.
Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal
Whether from infidelity or long-standing emotional neglect, trust can be rebuilt. Therapy provides a step-by-step path forward.
Strengthening Friendship and Teamwork
Rediscover the friendship and laughter that first brought you together. Even in hard seasons, your connection can be renewed.
Is This Approach Right for Your Relationship?
Gottman Method couples therapy may be a good fit if you and your partner:
Feel emotionally disconnected or misunderstood
Struggle to communicate without arguing or shutting down
Want to rebuild after a rupture, betrayal, or long period of disconnection
Are in a stable relationship but want to proactively strengthen it
Want practical, research-based tools with long-term impact